Change

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Adventures in Teen Driving

June 29, 2011 in Change, Nicole's World | No comments

It’s a big day in a Mom’s life; the day her teenage son gets his driver’s license.  Oh, I know.  They always talk about what a big day it is for the teen, but I think it’s bigger for the mom.  And to top that, it’s an even bigger day when he gets his very first car.  Mom now has to face the fact that her little boy is growing up and that she can’t protect him from the world at large forever.

As a parent, there are so many things rushing through my mind:

  • Is he old enough?
  • Is he mature enough?
  • Is he going to be safe?
  • What if his car breaks down?
  • What if he gets into an accident?
  • Will he be smart enough not to get himself in trouble?
  • Will he know what to do if he does?
  • Did I do enough to prepare him for this?

Every time that little boy leaves the house it becomes an opportunity to worry about the possibilities. It’s a big world out there and I don’t want him to get swallowed up in it.  He seems so incredibly young and vulnerable.  Just a tiny little thing that can so easily get hurt.

I once heard a mother say that she wished she could just wrap her son in bubble wrap and hold him tight forever. I think I now understand what she meant.

Teen driving is very much like the mother bird pushing her little baby birds from the nest and letting them learn to fly on their own.  There is no safety net to catch them but OH how I wish there was.

I know it is what they most need at this stage in their lives.  It’s time to fly.  It’s time to grow up and be free.  It’s time to soar above and begin to find their way in the world. It’s time for me to trust the job I have done as a parent and know that he’ll be OK no matter what happens.

And don’t forget the real reason this day is so stressful for a mother.  All of this also means Mom is getting older!  I could certainly throw a temper tantrum here yelling and screaming that I don’t WANNA get old, but I’ll just let myself believe that with age, comes incredible wisdom.  Ya, that’s what I’ll believe!

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The Upside of the Economic Collapse

February 9, 2011 in Change, Failure | 1 comment

I’m pretty good at seeing the positive in every situation.  There are a lot of great things to be had from the current recession we are experiencing.  And one of the more important ones, in my opinion, has to do with our younger generations.

I am the mom to a 15 year old, almost 16 and a bonus mom to another 15 year old.  I have nieces and nephews that range in age from 22 down to 8.  I’ve worked with chidren of all ages through various programs and careers I have held.  I see a trend in this generation of children that is rather discouraging.  It seems they lack the desire, motivation or incentive to work for what they want.  Rather, if it isn’t handed to them, they’ll just do without but whine about it none-the-less.

In consecutive generations of parents raising their children, the goal was to provide for them a life that was better than they had themselves.  My fear is that it went too far.  Our kids have more than they could ever want and that doesn’t give them a reason to go out and work for anything.

The pre-2008 economy encouraged parents to provide children as young as 5 or 6 years old with cell phones complete with data plans and laptop computers.  Shows like Sweet 16 on MTV encouraged kids to think BIG in terms of what they could and/or should expect.

This attitude carried through to the job world.  Those just graduating from high school or college expected big salaries with little work.  If something better came along, they wouldn’t think twice about leaving an employer without much notice.

Now, we have a new economy.  The Christmases of 2009 and 2010 weren’t quite as big as years past.  The job market has dried up and teens are finding it harder to find even  low paying jobs to pay for those fancy cars with high car insurance rates that their parents can’t afford any more.

All of a sudden, something for nothing doesn’t exist.  And that’s a good thing.

The economic collapse may help the United States get back to the days when the US was young and wanted to prove itself to the world.  We were willing to work hard for what we wanted and didn’t sit back with an entitlement mentality.

The Great Depression gave rise to one of the most prosperous times in US history after teaching us a valuable lesson of selfish indulgence from the 1920’s.  If we are fortunate, that is the lesson we have to learn again.  Hopefully, it will be the last time we have to learn it.

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Intentions and life and personal development

September 20, 2010 in Beliefs, Change, Choice, Purpose | No comments

First of all, let me make sure you are all aware that I have another blog for my business at www.goldeneaglescoaching.com.  Please go check that out and subscribe to the newsletter or just the RSS feed.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

I’ve been discovering a lot about intentions lately.  I always find it interesting when something comes into our awareness, it often does so either hardly at all (and we miss it altogether) or in a REALLY BIG WAY!  That’s how setting intentions has worked for me lately.

I’ve known for a while that people often talk about setting intentions.  One thing that has always made me scratch my head about the personal development industry is how you hear the same things over and over and over but somehow just keep missing the significance until something significant happens. Sometimes I get so tired of reading or hearing about the importance of this or that and really start to question the validity.  And then…

About four weeks ago, I attended an incredible personal development camp.  There were many exercises and activities to help illustrate the power of various points often made in the personal development industry.  It is a wonderful way of making the points hit home.  Each person takes away what they were truly meant to take away and nothing more or less.  My take away from one of these activities was intention.

During one particular activity, I decided to set my intention for the outcome.  Now they do tell you not to assume what is going to happen, but in this case, I set a positive intention.  For some reason, I believed this intention with all of my heart.  There was ZERO doubt.  And something truly amazing resulted.   In a very dramatic fashion, my intention came true.  It was not a subtle event but the universe was truly telling me that this @#$! works!

I have since practiced intention in other areas of my life.  While it does take a little work to truly believe with every ounce of my being, the results are absolutely incredible.

I’m learning that I must first be open to what the universe is telling me and then allow the lessons to present themselves.

Have you ever had a similar experience?

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Moving is a cleansing process

September 6, 2010 in Change | 1 comment

So I bought a new home.  Well, not new but new to my family.  We are in the midst of inspections at this time but, as long as all goes well there, we should be moving mid October.

We’ve only lived in this house for 6 years but have still accumulated a lot of stuff between multiple businesses, two kids and just life in general.  We are already starting the cleansing process of going through all the stuff. Here’s how we are doing it.

1. Donation.  Goodwill is going to love us.  How many things do you own that you just don’t ever use?  We own far too many.  Even though our new home is larger (by nearly double) we don’t want to move anything that we don’t truly need.

2. Trash. Ok some of this stuff is just junk and I know that one person’s trash is another person’s treasure but there are somethings that I can’t see anyone having an interest in (unless they belong on the show Hoarders).  So out it goes.

3. Move. This is the stuff we will be taking with us.  As little as possible.  The move isn’t far but life is always better when you start fresh and clean.  Of course some things will need to be replaced along the way but we’ll make due until we make that decision.

Reflection on life.  We should all “move” once in a while.  It’s like an opportunity to start fresh and new.  Get rid of the trash, donate what works but is unwanted and take only what is necessary into your next stage of life.  How refreshing!

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Friends and Neighbors

June 12, 2010 in Change, Relationships | 1 comment

Do you know your neighbors?  You know, the people that live in the houses or apartments around your own?  I know, it is a fairly unusual concept now-a-days.  And that’s what a great article by Charles Blow was talking about yesterday.  You can read his take here.

Mr. Blow sites a study that just came out by the Pew Research Center which found that only 43 percent of Americans know all or most of their neighbors by name. Twenty-nine percent know only some, and 28 percent know none.

I have to say that my husband and I fall into the 43 percent category.  We know almost all of ours. And it is a good thing because when we were gone for 4th of July weekend a couple of years ago and the mail carrier noticed our front door had been busted open, the neighbors knew how to reach us when the police came by.  I’m not sure what the police would have done to secure our property if they hadn’t been able to reach us.

We don’t socialize with our neighbors much, but we do make it a point to say hi and chat for a minute or two when we see them.  We do invite them over for our parties, although few ever come.  We know that many people have found many other things to do than spend time with their neighbors.  Despite that, we also know that, if we want that kind of relationship, it is up to us to continue to ask for it.

One commenter on the Blow piece talked about how, rather than social media being the downfall of neighborly interactions, it actually dates back to TV.  Prior to TV, families would get together for something to do.  They’d have dinner and then play cards.  Once one neighbor purchased a tv, they’d all go there to watch the show.  Then they all got tv’s and stopped visiting one another.

It definitely isn’t a Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood anymore, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t still have beneficial relationships with our neighbors.  Don’t get hung up on what it is “supposed to” look like.  Create new types of relationships with your neighbors, even including social media in that mix.  Innovate and be open to new things and those relationships can continue to be valuable.

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