Change

You are currently browsing the archive for the Change category.

Effectively improve your attitude – RIGHT NOW!

June 3, 2010 in Change, Techniques | No comments

Photo Courtesy of red5standingby

All of us need a pick me up now and again.  Things may not go our way or something negative may bring us down.  It can be a challenge to stay positive among the ongoing challenges we face.  Therefore, here are some tips to improve your attitude and be a more positive person – RIGHT NOW!  These are steps you CAN take to create an immediate shift in your attitude.  And if you practice some or all of these regularly, that positive attitude will begin to come more and more naturally to you.

  1. Gratitude – Write a list of all of the things you are grateful for right now.  This isn’t always an easy task when we have been depressed or negative for so long but there are always things to be grateful for whether it is that you have food to eat or limbs to move.  For more lasting results, decide that everyday, you will make a note of at least one thing you are grateful for.  Writing these down will have the added impact of providing a reference to look back on when your attitude needs a boost.
  2. Everything Happens for a Reason – Everything, I mean EVERYTHING that happens, happens for a reason.  If you begin to evaluate every situation that challenges you and look at how it could be a benefit rather than a detriment to you, you will begin to change your attitude.  If you are stuck in traffic, perhaps it is because it is causing you to avoid an accident you may otherwise have had.  If you lost a job, maybe it is because you couldn’t have a new opportunity present itself until you did, or maybe there is a valuable lesson you need to learn from that job loss.  Every situation can be looked at from two perspectives, the positive and the negative.  If you practice finding the positive reason for everything, you will change your attitude about everything.
  3. RAKS – Random Acts of Kindness.  When we take time away from our own crappy negative attitude to do something nice for someone else, it can really improve our attitude immediately.  Buy someone you don’t know a cup of coffee,  smile to a stranger in line, send a complement to someone you care about, send a thank you card for excellent service received.
  4. Exercise - I know this one sucks but it honestly has a major immediate response to a negative attitude.  By getting our body to move, it releases chemicals in our brains that are much needed mood enhances.  Even dancing counts so have some fun with it and dance to some great music right away!
  5. Celebrate your successes – Think of all of the things you have been successful doing in your life.  Just like the gratitude, you can start small, however, this is not the time to “ya, but” yourself.  Take full credit for everything you have done and then celebrate!  Really celebrate.  Put on some great music, jump up and down, party like you just won the lottery!  Success can come in many shapes and sizes from graduating from school, buying a house, starting a business to exercising today, eating healthy today, getting up on time today.
  6. Watch, read or listen to someone inspiring – Seeing where others have come from helps us to realize that our lives aren’t so bad or that we can do it too.  Find a favorite video or source of inspiration and watch it now for immediate attitude shift and regularly for permanent attitude shift.
  7. Humor - Humor, much like exercise can cause the release of chemicals within our brains and help us to focus on something other than our negative attitude.  Even the most humorless people can get benefit from laughing out loud.

We are all amazing individuals and have every right to have a positive attitude.  These tips are easy to implement and can result in immediate benefits as well as foster lasting change.  If more of us can have a positive attitude, the world will be a better place!

Tags: , , , ,

How to reprogram your fear

June 1, 2010 in Change, Choice, Techniques | 1 comment

Photo courtesy of andycarvin

Fear is as prehistoric a reaction as stress. Many people understand that stress was originally a physical response to a dangerous situation allowing for either a fight or flight response.

Fear is a psychological response to pain avoidance. It crops up when the mind foresees the possibility of pain forthcoming.

Both feelings, fear and stress were once reactions to physical stimuli and had an important role to play in survival.

However, today, both stress and fear can be the result of psychological stimuli and we will not truly benefit from the responses to those feelings. Today, being stressed over work does not increase survival (in fact, just the opposite may be true). And neither will being afraid to speak in public or make phone calls will not increase survival.

Fear is a program that runs in your mind and prevents you from doing the things that will ultimately lead to your success.  In order to deal with the fear, you have a few choices.

  • Feel it and do nothing.
  • Feel it and attempt to act despite the fear.
  • Become aware of it, understand where it is coming from and disassociate from it and proceed without the same level of fear as was previously felt.

Let’s explore the last option.

Awareness

The first step to change, according to T. Harv Eker is Awareness.  Awareness means recognizing that the fear exists and that the fear is holding you back from achieving your goals.

Action step – Write down your fears associated with the activity that you fear.  List why you think you have these fears and what, in your past experiences, may have caused this fear to come up.

Understanding

The next step is to understand how this fear has affected you and will continue to affect you going forward.

Action step – Write down all of the ways this fear has held you back from what you truly wanted in life.  How has it affected you and what are the costs of continuing to allow this fear to control you?

Disassociation

Disassociation involves evaluating the fear and the thoughts associated with it to determine if the fear is something you can let go of as something that you did not choose as part of your belief system.

Action step – Review what you have written already.  Do you find that this fear is based on valid experiences or on assumptions that are not based in fact?  If derived from valid experiences, have you had any contrary experiences that would go against those that created the fear?  Can you review what you have written and decide that the fear has no legitimate basis and should not be given the power that it currently has?

While this exercise will not work for all types of fear, particularly those that are most paralyzing, it can be an effective tool for dealing with the everyday fears that hold us back from our ultimate success.

See fear for what it is and give it only the amount of power it deserves.

Tags: , ,

Is it ok to quit?

May 19, 2010 in Change, Coaching, Failure, Success | 4 comments

NEVER GIVE UP!  You haven’t failed unless you quit! Just finish the race…  Personal development programs love to tell us that we should never quit.  That the only way to win is to never, ever, ever give up. That most people reach success just after the point they would have quit so if you just stick with it, you will reach success.

Why They Say “Don’t Quit”

There is some point to that as many people will quit the game long before they even know how to play.  And honestly, I think too many people do this.  Whether the game is a new business or opportunity, a new job, a specific weight loss program or something else entirely; people tend to jump into things expecting this game to be the answer to all their troubles.  Once they see it isn’t about a quick fix and that work may be involved, they decide it didn’t work for them and quit. Because of this, they never win and they never improve their situation.

For The Rest

There is, however, a group of people that thrive on personal development and have taken this mantra to heart.  These people are the captains of the sinking ships.  It doesn’t matter how much time, effort, money, stress, etc… they put into something, they will not quit because they are afraid of missing out.  They fear that their success is just on the other side of where they are now.  However, this is like dangling the carrot in front of the horse, the success may be just out of reach forever.

If you read the bios of almost every highly successful business owner, you will find that the vast majority have had at least one business fail before their enormous success.  Sam Walton had started a few discount stores before he hit the gold mine with Wal-Mart.  If Sam Walton had stuck with the failing stores he started first, we may never have ended up with the world’s most successful retail establishment.  Instead, Sam Walton took from each experience a set of lessons that he could then utilize in his next venture.

Sam Walton wasn’t quitting.  Sam Walton was simply playing a revised game.  This is where most people get stuck.  They fear, if the game doesn’t look exactly like what they started to play, that means they quit playing AND QUITTERS NEVER WIN!

Is it ok to change the rules?  YES!  Is it ok to quit? NO!

Your game may not be what you started out doing.  It may not be the same weight loss program you started, as long as you continue with a weight loss program.  It may not be the same business you started, as long as you continue to own a business.  It may not be the same career, as long as you have a career you love.

Quitting is not an option.  Changing the rules is.  So the next question becomes, how do we know when it is ok to change the rules?  How would you answer that?

Tags: , ,

Just Be

May 12, 2010 in Beliefs, Change, Law of Attraction | 2 comments

Stress.  Worry.  Anxiety. Anger.  These are all damaging emotions that can overcome our lives.  Sometimes these emotions become so all encompassing that we can’t remember what life was like when there was peace and happiness.  If you are any kind of student of personal development, you have probably heard or read that our thoughts and feelings control our actions and results.  The challenge many people face is fully controlling their thoughts and feelings.  It is easy to say something out loud but a much more difficult task to actually believe what is being said.

The first step to the process is to allow the process to happen.  The more we worry about not controlling our thoughts or feelings, the more we experience the vicious cycle of stress and worry.

Next, have someone help you to reframe some of the more persistent nagging negative thoughts.  Have them give you a few ways that you might be able to look at or feel about the situation.

Once you have this new way of looking at the situation, just allow it to be.  You don’t have to agree with it or accept it fully.  Simply allow the idea to be present in your mind.  Allow yourself to consider it without automatically dismissing the idea or thought.  In fact, don’t even really think much about it.  The more you think about it, the more likely you will be to explain it away or find reasons that it is not valid.

The idea is to just be.  Just be open to opportunities, ideas, thoughts, new experiences.  Just be.

Can you do that for one day?

Tags: ,

Change is easier with a little help

May 7, 2010 in Change, Coaching | No comments

“Things do not change; we change.”  ~Henry David Thoreau

Change is rarely easy but often necessary.  The best one can expect from life without change is to maintain the same; the same life, the same financial situation, the same job, the same relationships…  That’s the best one can expect.  Usually what they get is a world that changes around them for the worse.

As a life coach, my primary job is to guide people through change.  When a person (we’ll call her Anita Coach) comes to me struggling in one or more areas of her life, she wants her life to get better.  The ideal would be if everything around her could just change for the better because then she wouldn’t have to.   However, when we stand around waiting for that, the change that occurs usually isn’t for the better.

Once Anita has grasped the need to change in order to have a better more fulfilling life, there are many books that will help Anita down the right path.  It is definitely a best selling topic.  In addition to buying all those books, Anita could attend seminars, webinars, teleconference calls, classes, workshops…  You name it.  She can spend a great deal of time and money on attempting to accept change and create the right kind of change in her life.  However, all of this information is completely non specific to Anita.  What if she doesn’t know how to translate the information to her own life?  What if some of the information is relevant but other pieces are not?  What if the information is contradictory?  Who should she listen to?

It can be difficult to navigate change when the map is not specific.

Wouldn’t you rather save a lot of time and money working with someone that can create a map that is specific to your current situation and location?

Tags:

« Older entries § Newer entries »