Failure

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The Upside of the Economic Collapse

February 9, 2011 in Change, Failure | 1 comment

I’m pretty good at seeing the positive in every situation.  There are a lot of great things to be had from the current recession we are experiencing.  And one of the more important ones, in my opinion, has to do with our younger generations.

I am the mom to a 15 year old, almost 16 and a bonus mom to another 15 year old.  I have nieces and nephews that range in age from 22 down to 8.  I’ve worked with chidren of all ages through various programs and careers I have held.  I see a trend in this generation of children that is rather discouraging.  It seems they lack the desire, motivation or incentive to work for what they want.  Rather, if it isn’t handed to them, they’ll just do without but whine about it none-the-less.

In consecutive generations of parents raising their children, the goal was to provide for them a life that was better than they had themselves.  My fear is that it went too far.  Our kids have more than they could ever want and that doesn’t give them a reason to go out and work for anything.

The pre-2008 economy encouraged parents to provide children as young as 5 or 6 years old with cell phones complete with data plans and laptop computers.  Shows like Sweet 16 on MTV encouraged kids to think BIG in terms of what they could and/or should expect.

This attitude carried through to the job world.  Those just graduating from high school or college expected big salaries with little work.  If something better came along, they wouldn’t think twice about leaving an employer without much notice.

Now, we have a new economy.  The Christmases of 2009 and 2010 weren’t quite as big as years past.  The job market has dried up and teens are finding it harder to find even  low paying jobs to pay for those fancy cars with high car insurance rates that their parents can’t afford any more.

All of a sudden, something for nothing doesn’t exist.  And that’s a good thing.

The economic collapse may help the United States get back to the days when the US was young and wanted to prove itself to the world.  We were willing to work hard for what we wanted and didn’t sit back with an entitlement mentality.

The Great Depression gave rise to one of the most prosperous times in US history after teaching us a valuable lesson of selfish indulgence from the 1920’s.  If we are fortunate, that is the lesson we have to learn again.  Hopefully, it will be the last time we have to learn it.

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Is it ok to quit?

May 19, 2010 in Change, Coaching, Failure, Success | 4 comments

NEVER GIVE UP!  You haven’t failed unless you quit! Just finish the race…  Personal development programs love to tell us that we should never quit.  That the only way to win is to never, ever, ever give up. That most people reach success just after the point they would have quit so if you just stick with it, you will reach success.

Why They Say “Don’t Quit”

There is some point to that as many people will quit the game long before they even know how to play.  And honestly, I think too many people do this.  Whether the game is a new business or opportunity, a new job, a specific weight loss program or something else entirely; people tend to jump into things expecting this game to be the answer to all their troubles.  Once they see it isn’t about a quick fix and that work may be involved, they decide it didn’t work for them and quit. Because of this, they never win and they never improve their situation.

For The Rest

There is, however, a group of people that thrive on personal development and have taken this mantra to heart.  These people are the captains of the sinking ships.  It doesn’t matter how much time, effort, money, stress, etc… they put into something, they will not quit because they are afraid of missing out.  They fear that their success is just on the other side of where they are now.  However, this is like dangling the carrot in front of the horse, the success may be just out of reach forever.

If you read the bios of almost every highly successful business owner, you will find that the vast majority have had at least one business fail before their enormous success.  Sam Walton had started a few discount stores before he hit the gold mine with Wal-Mart.  If Sam Walton had stuck with the failing stores he started first, we may never have ended up with the world’s most successful retail establishment.  Instead, Sam Walton took from each experience a set of lessons that he could then utilize in his next venture.

Sam Walton wasn’t quitting.  Sam Walton was simply playing a revised game.  This is where most people get stuck.  They fear, if the game doesn’t look exactly like what they started to play, that means they quit playing AND QUITTERS NEVER WIN!

Is it ok to change the rules?  YES!  Is it ok to quit? NO!

Your game may not be what you started out doing.  It may not be the same weight loss program you started, as long as you continue with a weight loss program.  It may not be the same business you started, as long as you continue to own a business.  It may not be the same career, as long as you have a career you love.

Quitting is not an option.  Changing the rules is.  So the next question becomes, how do we know when it is ok to change the rules?  How would you answer that?

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My daily challenge and how I overcome it

April 19, 2010 in Coaching, Failure, Success | 2 comments

We all face challenges in life that we can either allow to stop us from getting what we want or work around and not allow those challenges to get in our way.  Here is one of mine and how I am able to work around it.  Perhaps you can learn something from my experience even if your challenge is not the same.

Most good personal development sources tell you to start on your journey by reading at least 30 minutes of inspiring, positive material every day.  That’s a fantastic idea that I agree with 100%.  They go on to talk about how many books per month or year you should be able to consume by reading daily.  This is where my head tends to sink just a little.  An average reader can read about 200 words per minute (wpm) while a regular daily reader can read more like 600 wpm.  Although I have been reading daily for several years, my speed is still only around 200 wpm.

You see, I have dyslexia.  I was diagnosed when I was in the first grade.  I don’t really remember the actual process but I do remember bringing home books to read that were supposed to help me get better at seeing things clearly.  Dyslexia is a reading disorder characterized by the inability to process graphic symbols.  A common example would be that I often see the word “was” as “saw”.  This makes the reading process dramatically slower as I must allow my brain time to accurately interpret the words on the page for maximum comprehension.  If my brain sees something as incorrect and the passage doesn’t make sense, I must go back and read it again.

Despite my dyslexia, my mother instilled in me a love of reading fiction at a pretty young age.  I can still remember the days that I finished my first 100 page book and when I completed my first Steven King novel.  I was overjoyed!  My dyslexia was not treated as an excuse when I was growing up.  It was just something I had to deal with.

I was able to skate through high school with good grades because I paid attention in class and had the ability to absorb most of the material without needing to focus a great deal on the reading.  College was a little more difficult with the more complex text books that required a lot of rereading on my part.  However, I made it a practice of learning HOW to read text books effectively by skimming first and then reading second.

About a year after college, I began reading personal development books.  I didn’t read them regularly but tried to read at least 2 a year.  I read more and more and soon made it a priority to read at least 30 minutes a day.  I wanted what all those people who read regularly had and I was willing to go get it no matter what obstacles I faced.   It is a challenge to me.  Here are a few things I have done to manage that challenge.

  • Make reading a morning priority because that is when my brain is functioning best and if I try to read in the evening when I’m tired, it is more a lesson in frustration.
  • Read daily to stay in practice.  If I don’t read regularly, it gets harder again.
  • Give up thinking I can be like the average reader.  I may never get to where I can read 24 books a year but I can be happy reading what I do read.

I am a better person for not allowing my challenge to get the better of me.  But what are a few things you can take from this to face your own challenges?

  • Decide what you want and commit to it.  Challenges are just ways of making us stronger along the path.
  • Practice.  Whether your challenge is fear based or practical in nature, you can practice the skills required to overcome it.
  • Grow to face the challenges rather than allowing the challenge to get bigger than you.
  • Accept your greatness at whatever level that may be.

Don’t be a victim.  Look around you, there are plenty of people that have bigger challenges than you do.  The rewards are worth the effort.

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The Olympics

March 1, 2010 in Failure, Success | 1 comment

As I watched this year, a few things came to mind.   Athletes make it look easy! There is seemingly so little effort put forth to do what most of us have no idea how difficult the activity truly is.   Also, there are incredible stories of how athletes have overcome incredible odds to be a part of the Olympic games.

First, how do they make it look so easy?  Did you know that it requires 10,000 hours to master something? That means if each gold medal winner started their sport just 5 years prior, he or she would have had to work 5 1/2 hours EVERY SINGLE day for five years to reach their level. Also, did you know that, on a 2 minute ski course, the difference between gold and silver can be one third of one second, less time than most humans can visually calculate.

The stories.  There is a story behind each of the 2600 athletes that competed in the 2010 Winter Olympics.  Many of them a story of success followed by failure and heartache followed by determination.  The nature of an athlete results in numerous injuries throughout their training.  Often these injuries are enough to end a career.  Sometimes, though, the athletes are told they will no longer be able to participate in their sport again, only to pull something from within to become one of the best in their sport.  Their commitment to their vision and determination are enough to have them seeking out second opinions, finding alternative methods of training, and just not giving up even when everyone around them says they should.

Some questions to ask yourself.

  • How many times are you told to give up on something because those around you don’t have your vision?    Do you continue anyway or do you let them be right?
  • Are you working on the area of your life that you truly want to master? How many hours have you put in? How fast to you want to reach mastery?

Are you an Olympian in your own right?  The difference between success and failure could be so minute you might not even recognize it. Push past your barriers to reach that extra 1/3 of 1 second. You CAN do it.

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